OK, most people like to rant and rave about their pet-peeves. What do they say? Well some complain about how "The Chinese" drive, or how inconsiderate 'The Chinese" are or how it makes them so mad when "The Chinese" don't look where they are going when crossing the street. Or they feel the unnecessary red-tape is totally insane. Many foreigners fondly talk of how they are "having a China day" and allowing themselves to get upset at "The Chinese". So what is my pet-peeve? This sort of attitude!
It really bugs me when I talk to someone who at least mostly decided on their own to move to China, and then all they can do while they are here is complain, complain, complain. My 8th Grade history teacher used to always tell me some very good advice: "If you don't like it, change it or move." That is some very good advice. I've been in China for only a year and I'm sure if I had been here 10 years I'd feel some things wearing on me. But I'm going to be in China maybe 3 years tops, that's 1,000 days at the most. That means every 10 days is 1% of my entire experience here for my entire life. Let's keep it in perspective people!
If you choose to come to China, or any other foreign land, don't waste your time and energy choosing to be angry or annoyed that people act differently that you. You have to know that is going to happen. Instead, embrace the differences and try to figure out WHY they are different. Try to love the people and understand them and NOT just get annoyed that they don't have STARS UPON THARS. I'm not the best example of this, but I really am trying and 99% of the time I really am happy here and not angry. It seems like so much of life is spent looking for things to be mad about here.
I recently talked to a young man (well under 18) and all he could talk about was how "The Chinese" are driving poorly or doing this or that wrong. The kid has been here less time than I have and already his time here is going to be poisoned by prejudice and blindness. There are lots of people who come here who just can't hack it for whatever reason, but I propose to you that 95% of that reason is ATTITUDE. You are not entitled to pass judgement on an entire race of over 1 billion people because your home country has a GDP that is higher than China's (at least for now).
I talked to another guy who had served as a full-time missionary for two years in another Asian country. He mentioned that the service industry people do not accept tips there either, same as China. I asked him if he knew why. He lived there for 2 years and took probably well over 100 taxi rides and could never be bothered to find out something so basic, so insightful into the psyche of a people? That was one of the first things I asked when I got to China. Why is it culturally unacceptable to give or accept tips to service industry people like taxi drivers and hair stylists? Don't you think that is something you would want to know to understand the people? Or is your life so myopic that you can't be bothered to care? How can you possibly expect to like a people you can't be bothered to understand at such a basic level?
Blanket assumptions about an entire people's honesty, integrity or dedication to values with no understanding of their culture is just asking for disappointment. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty to be disappointed about in China, but much of it can make sense to even the dumbest of us Lao Wai, I mean I'm starting to get it and I'm no brain surgeon. But the way they do things here makes perfect sense to 1.3 billion people, and that has to count for something.
So shake off the chains of your own biases, embrace the change and try to understand the good in everyone. A very wise man once said, "As I have loved you, love one another" and this isn't just a nice idea, it is truly a way to be happy in any circumstance in which you are placed. So instead of counting down the days until you return to your homeland, in anticipation of some day when you can finally be happy again, count each day you have left in a strange environment as a precious gift to be used to understand a people. This is an opportunity that so few westerners will ever have, it would be a shame to squander this time. And hey, you'll be a lot happier too!
It really bugs me when I talk to someone who at least mostly decided on their own to move to China, and then all they can do while they are here is complain, complain, complain. My 8th Grade history teacher used to always tell me some very good advice: "If you don't like it, change it or move." That is some very good advice. I've been in China for only a year and I'm sure if I had been here 10 years I'd feel some things wearing on me. But I'm going to be in China maybe 3 years tops, that's 1,000 days at the most. That means every 10 days is 1% of my entire experience here for my entire life. Let's keep it in perspective people!
If you choose to come to China, or any other foreign land, don't waste your time and energy choosing to be angry or annoyed that people act differently that you. You have to know that is going to happen. Instead, embrace the differences and try to figure out WHY they are different. Try to love the people and understand them and NOT just get annoyed that they don't have STARS UPON THARS. I'm not the best example of this, but I really am trying and 99% of the time I really am happy here and not angry. It seems like so much of life is spent looking for things to be mad about here.
I recently talked to a young man (well under 18) and all he could talk about was how "The Chinese" are driving poorly or doing this or that wrong. The kid has been here less time than I have and already his time here is going to be poisoned by prejudice and blindness. There are lots of people who come here who just can't hack it for whatever reason, but I propose to you that 95% of that reason is ATTITUDE. You are not entitled to pass judgement on an entire race of over 1 billion people because your home country has a GDP that is higher than China's (at least for now).
I talked to another guy who had served as a full-time missionary for two years in another Asian country. He mentioned that the service industry people do not accept tips there either, same as China. I asked him if he knew why. He lived there for 2 years and took probably well over 100 taxi rides and could never be bothered to find out something so basic, so insightful into the psyche of a people? That was one of the first things I asked when I got to China. Why is it culturally unacceptable to give or accept tips to service industry people like taxi drivers and hair stylists? Don't you think that is something you would want to know to understand the people? Or is your life so myopic that you can't be bothered to care? How can you possibly expect to like a people you can't be bothered to understand at such a basic level?
Blanket assumptions about an entire people's honesty, integrity or dedication to values with no understanding of their culture is just asking for disappointment. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty to be disappointed about in China, but much of it can make sense to even the dumbest of us Lao Wai, I mean I'm starting to get it and I'm no brain surgeon. But the way they do things here makes perfect sense to 1.3 billion people, and that has to count for something.
So shake off the chains of your own biases, embrace the change and try to understand the good in everyone. A very wise man once said, "As I have loved you, love one another" and this isn't just a nice idea, it is truly a way to be happy in any circumstance in which you are placed. So instead of counting down the days until you return to your homeland, in anticipation of some day when you can finally be happy again, count each day you have left in a strange environment as a precious gift to be used to understand a people. This is an opportunity that so few westerners will ever have, it would be a shame to squander this time. And hey, you'll be a lot happier too!